A friend of mine just showed me an email he got from a 21 year old girl. I think this question is a great one, and I’m wondering how most in the church would answer…? My fear is that her entire process would be robbed by the person it was brought to. Before I get into it, here’s her question:
“Why do we worship God? I mean, if he created hell and heaven – and allows someone that is completely kind, compassionate and giving to go to hell – why would we worship that God? It’s not like some other God created hell and the God of the Bible came in like the hero creating heaven to save us all. If that were the case I could see why we would worship him, because he truly did save us from something terrible. But since the whole idea came from him in the first place, how are we supposed to still praise him?”
She concluded her question by stating: “Please don’t give me the typical answer of “well, ya know, he’s holy and he didn’t have to send his son to die for us in the first place, but he did. Those types of answers are lame and won’t satisfy me.”
I love it!!!!! These are the questions that I live for! But, how do you answer? Well, to be honest, I don’t answer it at all. I ask questions. I think it’s dangerous giving people answers to these questions. What!? How can you say that?
Hold on. I’m not saying I don’t have an answer, nor am I saying I’ll leave this person wondering in never never land for someone else to guide her thoughts. But, the question is what’s the best way to guide her toward the right conclusions? Is it REALLY by giving a direct, often over simplistic answer? Or, is there something else we can do that would better help her process…?
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Chuck Bomar is pastor of Colossae Church in Portland, Oregon and founder of CollegeLeader (
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Take her through the scripture and let her see it for herself. Instead of giving her the answer, take her through the scripture and allow her to see the answer. It’s an opening for a conversation, that will probably change you as it changes her.
I agree with you. We have a guy at our church that is passionate about “life coaching” and he’s been a counselor for years. He said that the key to coaching is being able to ask questions that help an individual realize what the Holy Spirit is already telling them. I’ve been a youth pastor for 15 years and spent a lot of time telling people the answer… but in my experience, asking questions that stir up thoughts is a lot more effective. Here’s the thought, if I want the individual to own my truth, I’ll answer the question. If I want them to own God’s truth, then I’ll let them wrestle with God and use a question or two that allows them (and the Holy Spirit) to do that.
This is kicking my butt right now. I get Matt Matzke’s reply and that makes total sense! What questions should we ask her though?? I want to know what you’d do! I’ll be praying about this.
How blessed you are to know someone who is seriously wrestling with these issues! Sorry for the long post, but here goes:
Her question is already packed with presuppositions and premises about theodicy, free will, etc. You could guide her by asking the questions about those presuppositions, for example:
1. What is “hell”? Why do you think God created it? (a place where a free-willed person can go to get away from God? … a place where God says “enough!” to the rampage of evil?)
2. You said God allows someone “completely kind, compassionate and giving” to go to hell: What do you mean by completely kind? Completely compassionate? Completely giving? Who fits that description? (Jesus?)
3. What do you think it is about being kind, compassionate and giving that is a commendation to God? (Something here about humans being made in the image of God, and perhaps reflections of his nature even in someone who doesn’t claim belief in Him.)
4. What do you mean that God “allows” someone to go to hell? What is it that determines whether someone goes to heaven? (See if she can find the answers in the Sermon on the Mount; parables about the banquet, the Prodigal Son, etc.; book of Hebrews regarding entering God’s rest, etc.).
5. Is avoiding hell a transaction of positive character qualities? (“I should be in heaven because I’m kind”.) Conversely, do you think the “sinner’s prayer” is a magic formula of syllables (“open sesame”) for heaven?
6. What do you mean by “worship” God? (Do you mean merely thinking thoughts about his heroism on your behalf?)
7. Do you think it is possible to obtain a perfectly sensible, logical answer to all this? Do you need all the answers to worship God?
The worship song “Indescribable” initially reads like “I like God because he makes neat things”. However, its lyrics are from Job 38:19 (and 22,31,32,35), where God’s résumé of creation supersedes Job’s demands for a theodicy that makes perfect sense. Job’s “worship” is simply an acknowledgement that such things are too full of wonder (42:3). You are amazing, God.
My pastor has started coaching at my church and I love it! Each session opens something else up to me even days or weeks later.
I’m starting a young adult group at my church and have been praying and researching.
Thank you all for your comments. I’ve stressed too much at times trying to get a good “lesson” only to be reminded by God that the goal is to create an atmosphere for discussion. I shouldn’t be answering their questions just showing them where to find the answers.
Thanks Steve. I appreciate how you helped unpack this question.
chuck, nice post, and good blog.
steve, great ideas.
i’m still trying to build the kind of relationships with college-aged peeps in my area that would allow me to have this sort of conversations.