I met with a girl in our church this morning. She’s great! Spiritually solid and really wants to serve. She’s thinking about going overseas for a while and wanted to “bounce” it off me. She was thinking through it, but had a couple questions that – I think – can be very common for college-age people thinking about this to ask.

Her first question had to do with motivation. She said she really wanted to go out of a love for the people, not out of a sense of adventure. That was good to hear and I think it shows her “solidness.” She recognizes that people her age often get restless at times whenever they have a lack of direction, often jumping overseas to just do something. Going overseas in Christian culture is a sexy thing. She didn’t want to have motivate her. She’s working a great job, but that’s not enough for her – which I also like. She’s not settling for comfort and identity in a career.

Secondly, and this one really impressed me, she didn’t want to leave if it hindered our ministry here at all. The reality is having someone like this leave for two to three years would be a hit. Any church would love having solid college-age people like her. But that doesn’t mean God isn’t calling her out somewhere else. My job is to help guide her toward His will in this.

So I asked her a few basic questions that I think helped her think through this:

1. Do you think you’ll ever have pure motivations in anything you do? She said she didn’t think so. We then talked about the importance of being able to recognize the impure motivations, but if she was going to wait until she didn’t have ANY she’d never go anywhere or do anything. It’s not whether or not we have impure motivations, its whether or not we can recognize the ones we do have and then keep them in check. If a person can’t recognize the impurities in their decisions…that’s when I get concerned, especially with college-age people.
2. Do you think you’re being faithful here, today? The truth is we can always do more, but she is being faithful. She lives in close community with others, she works hard, serves others, is growing in her faith – takings steps as well, and is open for whatever God wants to do. Often college-age people think if they leave they will be faithful – or in other words they NEED to leave in order to be faithful. This is dangerous. If they’re not being faithful here first, there’s deeper discipleship issues we need to tackle before they leave!
3. Are there any circumstances here that aren’t working out the way you would like? The reality is too many college-age people have tweaked theology when it comes to this. Often people feel like if everything isn’t going just right it must mean that God wants to move them somewhere else. Imagine Christ saying this in the garden before he went to the cross? The counsel of circumstances is powerful…and dangerous. College-age people often run from problems by spiritualizing why they’re leaving. Digging into this area is vital! Thankfully, in this situation, there’s nothing she’s running from or hoping to run to by leaving.
4. Would you be up for allowing me to help you find a place to go? Having her respond positively to this was BIG. If a person is really wanting to hear God’s voice submission in this area with their spiritual leader(s) will be there. As her pastor I want to make sure she’s cared for. I’ve had many students leave and go places that did not care for their spiritual lives. Instead they got used. This is why many college-age people want to go, but without strong and caring pastoral care there on the ground they can and will die spiritually. Unfortunately I know this all too well. I still have people in places they should’ve never gone. Her willingness to submit to me in this again shows health on her end. I really do want to make sure she’s cared for and I will do everything in my power to make sure she’s in a place where she can serve and give herself tirelessly, but also be in a place where she will be nurtured by a spiritual leader.