Graduating high school is simply the next stage of education. Sure, 40 years ago it was basically a right of passage into adult living. People graduated and most looked for a job. Amazingly, that job could’ve been their entire career. But we all know today is different. Besides getting married there isn’t really a right of passage into adulthood anymore.

People graduate college at different times and when they do they still don’t feel like they’re adults – unless they’re married. But if they’re not there isn’t a clear cut right of passage. And this seems to be causing some other issues. It’s not an entirely bad thing, but this causes some confusion for parent’s too. There is an entire spectrum of parental responses to their kids going off to college. Many can’t seem to let go at all without something outside of themselves letting them know “it’s time.” Others drop kids immediately following high school graduation because that’s what they know.

However, college’s seem to be helping in this a bit. Many have recognized the need to help in this and do so by creating events that give a mental picture for both the students as well as the parents. They are creating elements to move-in days that, to a parent, might seem a bit abrupt, but it’s probably a necessary step. I recently read an article in the NY Times titled, “Students, Welcome to College; Parents, Go Home” that articulates a few ways in which colleges are creating a sort of right of passage for the family. Interesting read. And, it seems to be helping with the all too familiar “Velcro Parent” syndrome (or another reference used for parents that can’t seem to let go is “helicopter parents”).

I think it’s really important to remember that this issue didn’t exist a generation ago…and this ought to affect approaches in ministries/churches.

Question: What sort of things have you done in your ministry (or seen done) to help create a healthy sense of separation and steps toward adulthood for students and/or parents?