I was having breakfast with my friend Mike this morning. He’s the lead singer in Tenth Avenue North and they had a concert here in Portland last night. I was able to cruise by to watch them – that was fun. They’re on tour with Jeremy Camp and Mercy Me – and a few others as well.  The tour is called, “The Rock and Worship Road Show.”  It was good to see the guys again, as brief as it was (we only had about 20 minutes backstage). This is a pic I took from back stage of some of the crowd – fun concert.  Sold out arena.

But this morning sitting at breakfast Mike and I didn’t talk about college ministry.  We were talking about life in general, ministry, family…Jesus. A good chunk of our conversation was about how we often miss Jesus as being the center of everything. We don’t like, nor admit it a lot of times, but the truth is we miss the point sometimes…well, more than sometimes.

Mike mentioned that he too often views Jesus as a means to an end, versus the end. He was confessing (and we can all relate at many different levels) that he tends to use Jesus for the forgiveness of sin, or the release of guilt rather than just being in love with Jesus and having Jesus truly satisfy his every desire. If Jesus is just a means for US, we missed it.

We were also talking about Jesus with the blind man with a speech impediment in Mark 7. We discussed the intimacy that man experienced with Jesus. The crowd was there and they were astonished at what they saw happen to that man, but they left and there life wasn’t changed. They just saw a cool event. If Jesus is an event we witness once a week, we miss it.

We talked about Jesus with the woman at the well. Jesus’ point was that he could satisfy a thirst so much that this woman would never thirst again. When we view Jesus as a temporary quench, but then are hoping in something or someone else to truly satisfy us, we miss it.

We also talked about something John Piper wrote. Piper asks the question: if Jesus wasn’t in heaven, would you still want to go? If all Jesus is to us is a means for us to get to heaven, we miss it.

When it comes to college ministry these days (beyond hanging with college-age people in my church), I concentrate on two things: training leaders who work with college-age people, and training student ministry leaders on preparing their kids for college.  I tend to focus strictly on the leaders and on spiritual issues.

Well, LiveAbove.com is another site you might be interested in checking out.  This organization is focusing a lot of their attention on high school junior’s and senior’s, seeking to prepare them for what they will likely face at college.  Here’s a little video you may want to check out:

Whoa, I would recommend you checking out this article on Mtv.com called, “American Idol’ Christianity Story Gets Heated Reaction: ’What does their faith have to do with singing?‘” one commenter asks.  This article expresses the controversy about some of the singers being open about their Christian faith on American Idol.  Kind of fun, if you ask me.

I’ve gotten some inquiries on Facebook and Twitter about Steve, the guy I met last week.  If you missed that post, click here.  Just to let you know, I’ve been back a few times to that same coffee shop and have not seen him…yet.  I will keep you posted.  I may even go down to the home he lives in to see if I can’t find him!  I’ll give it some more time though, I want things to progress naturally.

I recently added a new page on the blog, my speaking schedule (see above).  This may or may not interest you at all, but I thought I’d post it (and will TRY to keep it updated) in case you’re in the area in which I’m speaking and would like to connect.  I would love to do that if it works out!

I’ve been trying to narrow things down and limit the things I do because, well, church planting is keeping me busy enough!  Nevertheless if it works out I’d love to grab a cup of coffee, a meal, or meet you at one of the things I’m doing.

I’m fully aware of the negative impact of divorce, how the divorce rate in the Church is no less than that of the world, and of the sanctity of marriage.  I’ve even felt the affects of divorce in my own life, with my parents getting divorced when I was 6 months old.  And, my dad is in his 3rd marriage while my mom just ended her 3rd.  So, I know the facts and feelings that come as a child.  Thankfully my wife and I have been happily married now for 8 1/2 yrs.  Hasn’t always been easy, our feelings (key word) have wavered for each other at times, but divorce is not an option for us.

But what about people throwing a “divorce fair” for those desiring to leave their spouses?  A big convention with lawyers, counselors, astrologists and lifestyle coaches to help people leave their “loved ones.”  Probably smart business, but this could be a major moral issue – at least from a biblical perspective.

No wonder so many college-age people are freaked out about marriage…and have distorted views of what it means to be married?  This is a major reason why we ought to be giving a different perspective, a biblical and godly one.  Imagine if this was my only view of myself?  I wouldn’t want anything to do with that image of myself.  Know what I mean?

I read an article entitled, “50 ways to leave your lover: unhappy couples get advice, cake at Britain’s first divorce fair.”  Organizer Suzy Miller said the event would aim to focus on the positive, starting with a warming cup of tea and a chunk of homemade cake. Musicians will play live and there will be play areas for kids. They will have psychics who would offer to heal people’s minds and bodies, and one company suggests boosting finances by selling a healthy version of chocolate, she said.  Many of the 30 or so exhibitors, who have paid up to 1,600 pounds ($2,245) for a stall, plan to focus on having fun.  ”Sometimes people just need someone to talk to,” said exhibitor Martina Mercer-Hall, who uses astrology and alternative therapies to advise on designing one’s home after divorce.

If you’re working with college-age people who are thinking about relationships (which every one of them is at some level), this might be a good small group discussion to have.  They probably don’t desire to get married anytime soon, but its certainly on the back of their mind…if not the middle.  Printing this article and discussing it could be a great small group this week.  Maybe ask some of the following GENERAL questions:

1. What role, if any should the Church have in something like this?
2. How do you think this affects societies view of marriage?  
3. How do you think astrology fits into this conference?

And/or you can ask some more SPECIFIC questions:

1. How has divorce affected you personally? 
2. How has divorce affected your view/feelings of marriage?
3. Do you think there are any reasons a Christian could be conscience free in getting a divorce?  Do you have any Scripture that gives you that idea?

Spring time is a great time of year to talk through the topic of relationships.  In college ministry I discussed this in a series at least once a year.  If you want a couple resources to assist you thinking through communicating a biblical view of relationships specifically to college-age people click here.  

In case you’re wondering we are working on a resource on dealing with homosexuality in your college ministry as well.  Stay tuned for that…it’s coming!

Yesterday I was sitting in a Starbucks by my house, working on my message for this coming week.  I turned my head around and noticed a man in a wheelchair.  It was a heavy duty motorized chair and he had it reclined – laying down in it.  Never seen that before. 

I began to talk with him.  His name is Steve and he told me his story.  Well, a little of it.  Enough of it.

 Drunk driving 4 years ago put him in the wheelchair.  His truck flipped 4 times, each time collapsing down on him.  He was in a coma for 3 months, had multiple surgeries, and doesn’t remember anything.  This was all told to him by those around him – doctors, family, etc.

After waking up from the coma, his wife told him it was too much for her and she was going to divorce him.  This was after 18 years of marriage.  A tragedy. 

At one point I asked Steve when the last time he laughed was.  He replied, “not sure, it’s a rare thing these days.” 

Later I asked him if he has hope.  He replied, “I’m not sure I really know what that is.” 

Sobering moment.  

At that point his legs began to shake uncontrollably.  He asked if I could help him move the straps that were around his calves up to his knees.  I did.  His legs stopped bouncing.

He lives in a home that gives him 24/7 care, just down the street from the Starbucks.  He says he goes there just about every day to get a cup of coffee.  This is how he spends the $30 a month he receives from disability.  He says it’s a “taste of sanity” for him each day.

Steve seems to be a good guy, bitter and angry in ways, but an overall good guy.  He’s certainly lonely and I’m sure he could use a friend.

I met Steve at 3:30pm yesterday. So, today at 3:30 I’ll be at the same coffee shop, hoping to see him.  I think this is the beginning of a great relationship.  

I’m also thinking that this might be a new opportunity for the ministry of my church.  I can think of at least 4 college-age people in my church that would love to spend time with the people that live in this home with Steve.  I’ll be looking deeper into this and talking to some people this week…

In all my writing (books/articles/blogs) and in most of the seminars I’ve done I in some way have mentioned the idea of behavior management.  My heart and thinking is for us to critically consider the affects of this on the development of a personal faith in kids as they grow up in our churches.  I think there is a fine line (that may be appropriate to walk at times) between focusing on the personal faith of an individual and their immediate behavioral response.

Some of the dangers of focusing on behavior too much is that our kids learn Christianity as Law – which Christ fulfilled for us.  And once in college most will rebel against this idea of Christianity.  As believers there are biblically appropriate and inappropriate roads to walk on or down.  But its when we focus on these roads of behavior rather than on the belief behind the actions that people tend to detach.  

To take this a step further, and in ways deeper into our educational models, what about extrinsic motivation?  How might us awarding kids with prizes of sort in our churches for proper behavior (or even memorization) affect their long-term faith development?  To be as practical as I can, what are the real long term affects of us throwing candy to children who know the verse we’re asking about?  Or even a step further, how might this affect the kids that don’t know the verse and aren’t extrinsically awarded?

There’s an interesting article in the NY Times on this idea in education in general.  It’s called, “Rewards for Students Under a Microscope” and has some interesting thoughts and debates on extrinsic motivation.  I think critiquing our approach to education is crucial in any regard – and this article might get some juices flowing for you.  It’s at least worth a skim read – especially if you work with kids in addition to leading a college ministry.

I came across a website you should check out: iamsecond.com  It’s a website that highlights the testimonies of celebrity type people.  Brian Welch used to be in the band called Korn – certainly not a Christian band.  His story totally stood out to me and there is a video you ought to watch!  Click here to see that.  He was on top of the music world and then made a massive turn around.  VERY interesting story and could be something you show at a small group or pass along to your students.  Most will know of Korn…if you don’t.