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As cheesy as this story may come across to some, I think this is a good challenge for all of us. At the end of this short story I’ll issue you a couple questions for you to ponder…hopefully honestly.
Saturday night I was with my family at a friends house. They have a pond that you can swim in. So, we were swimming. Karis, my oldest daughter (4 1/2) was wearing a life jacket while playing in the water. She was splashing, playing in the sand, etc. Then, she wanted me to take her out to the dock.
So I swam over to her and she grabbed onto me. I was telling her that the jacket would allow her to float and she didn’t have to hold onto me. She wouldn’t let go for anything. I didn’t want to push her too much, but I continued. ”Karis, you have to trust daddy. You know I wouldn’t tell you it would be ok if it isn’t, right?”
“Yeah,” she said.
“Ok, then. Watch this. Let go of my neck and hold my hands.” She did that. Whew!
But she was shaking with fear. I thought about just pushing her away, but that would’ve done her in. So, I continued with my back toward the dock, facing her while holding her little hands. I was encouraging her by letting her know I was barely even holding her up…it was the life jacket doing all the work. She was encouraged and excited. So I decided to try to get her to let go again.
She didn’t want to do that. So eventually I said (actually with a little frustration), “Sweetheart, you’re not trusting daddy.”
She replied ever so firmly, “I don’t want to trust daddy.”
Aaaahhhh, there was the teachable moment. I told her sometimes it’s scary to trust and because of that we don’t want to. But, once we do we realize it was the best thing. We talked for a few more minutes and she slowly began to trust me. Before I knew it she was swimming all over the pond by herself – of course not wanting any help. At one point I couldn’t see her and got spooked. But then I saw her swimming with the dog in the middle of the pond. It was so fun to see her go…
Question for you: in ministry, do you challenge people in your college ministry to take steps of faith? Or, do you tend to rob them of the beauty of being in a position where they have to trust?
Second question: do you actually take steps of faith? If not, how then do you expect those you lead to do so…?
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Concerning robbing people of being in a position to trust, I think it is hard for us leader types (anyway its hard for me) to not “overfunction” with students. That is, actually doing the spiritual, emotional, and relational work for another that they should be doing themselves. For example, if a student has financial concerns (which is every student!), I may step in and create a budget for him/her, give some money, and set out a plan for the rest of the semester. The problem is: the student learned nothing and discovered little about herself and God because I did all the work. This overfunctioning is actually a destructive act on my part, robbing the student of a faith experience. The student may respond with gratitude, but I haven’t really helped. Instead, I can be a facilitative presence, allowing the student the opportunity for growth. It’s all about the Spirit, man, not me!
Good thoughts Timotheos – especially when it comes to a philosophy of discipleship. So, what how do you encourage people to live by faith, stepping out of areas of control?
Continuing with my example, I would encourage the faith building process through giving some budget guidelines and having the student come up with a budget, help the student think so that he/she can think of ways to come up with money, and pray with them. Then, following up by doing some gentle nudging toward action if needed and asking questions of how God fits into it all. This is much easier, and all are better off. Seeing God provide is a great faith-builder for students.