Great Reminder

Chuck on May 5th, 2008

I was in the LA area on Saturday doing a wedding.  Flying home that night (to make it back for Sunday morning) I met a new friend – Wes.  I was working on my message, with my Bible out when a voice from behind me says, “What do you do?”  I explained, and we got to talking.

He was a pastor in the Portland area as well.  Great guy.  We landed on completely different pages on many issues (one which I will mention later), but had a fun and, I think, edifying conversation.

We actually had the same layover and next flight so we hung out at the food court in San Francisco and kept talking about ministry and life.  The interesting part of his story that I’ll mention here was, in his words, he “got kicked out of his church for being gay.”  So, he’s in a new context that “accepts him for who he is” and he can now lead in “more progressive ways.”

This is a great reminder for us.  Here’s the deal: in college-age ministry we MUST give our people freedom to talk about this issue!  This is the time they are dealing with it.  Trust me, if you address this topic and are a safe person – there will be people that “come out” and trust you with the most intimate secret they hold.

I’ve taught on this at least once a year for the last 8 years in our college-age ministry – most of the time it was a 3-4 week series.  Every single time new people revealed their struggle.  We don’t have to condone it to love people through it.  Here are a couple thoughts:

  1. Never say “that’s gay.”  This is not funny.
  2. Never use “gay jokes.”  There will be someone around and this deems you as untrustworthy, unsafe, and extremely uncaring.
  3. Once someone lets you into their struggle, NEVER (NEVER!) drop them!  Consistency with them is the best thing you can have…stay faithful.
  4. Remember, you don’t have to condone it to love someone through it.

Open up the topic and you will see college-age people open up as well…

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    Share Discuss (1)

    Sherie at 12:12pm May 9

    I so strongly agree with your third point, not just as it applies to the issues around this specific struggle, but really with any struggle, especially intense ones. Your words have been ringing in my head this week as a friend made the final choice to end his struggle, and I know others had dropped him because his struggle was something they didn’t understand. You don’t have to understand someone’s struggle to love them in the midst of it.