One of the biggest discussion points for people I consult with around the country is whether or not they should seek to invest in a large(r) group gathering. It seems as though people get stuck on the either-or side of things. But I would say it should be both-and.

I typically talk about the relational/discipleship side of ministry, which is likely why I get these types of questions a lot. I do this because as American’s we typically start with the larger/programmatic things. Because of this people can wrongly assume I’m against larger group gatherings or church-services designed specifically toward college age people. I have clearly issued concerns about this approach – mostly because of things I’ve missed in my own ministry – but have tried to make it known they are not condemnations. I happen to think they can play a critical role in reaching college age people, regardless of context.

Having said that, I do think we should intentionally focus our ministries. So, to break it down, I would simply say we need both larger group gatherings and intentionality in creating relational bridges between younger and older generations. Here’s how I recommend focusing these two areas of ministry:

Large Group Gathering: This is a connecting point for peer-to-peer and a time where we intentionally address age-stage specific issues. It could be small groups or a full fledged church service. Regardless of the approach, the important thing to realize is the college age stage of life today requires leaders to be very specific. No shotgun approaches, we must nail these issues and address them in everything we do – including every message or study we lead. The people we work with are seeking to move through this stage toward independent adulthood, which requires them to sift through their unique issues today.

Relational Connections: The goal is to help people move from only being relationally connected to the student life of our churches to being relationally connected to the adult life. This is not programmatic assimilation, it’s relational. In other words, the goal is not to get people to transition from youth group to church service or to serving in other the areas of the church. This can be a byproduct, but it’s not the goal. I can sit in the same church service with people from different generations and never actually “connect” with them. We want to work toward relational connection in the context of every day life and even off the church campus.

If you’d like more on this, I talk about these in depth in my book, College Ministry From Scratch, and discuss how I measure effectiveness in each area as well. But, how do these two focus points fit into your strategy for your ministry this summer and coming fall?

Over the last 10-15 years there has been a lot of discussion around the teens and tweens (those in between elementary and jr high stages). The discussion has been a good one and one of which I addressed 8 years or so ago in an article for YouthWorker Journal called, Missing Both Ends. However, this last week at The Orange Conference I did a seminar that I called, “The New In-Betweeners” where I talked about college age people. My point was not to coin a new term for those in this life stage (however I did do that with another term in my upcoming book, Worlds Apart), but rather to just talk about how they are in-between so many areas in their life. Here was the description for that particular seminar:

Leading, interested in, a parent of, bewildered by or have volunteers that are college age? Want to know more about the (actual) lives of these young people, what cultural shifts have taken place to affect them and how it affects you? With no real solid footing in any one thing college age people find themselves in-between just about everything. And this impacts, well, just about everything. This seminar paints a picture of insight into their minds and hearts so that you can understand what they need and desire from you, your church, or your ministry.

I obviously had limited time, so in this seminar I listed at least 4 areas college age people are “in-between” in:

1. Themselves. They are between having an identity in/with their family structure (whatever that might have been) and who they are as an independent adult. My key point for this section was: Who or what we identify ourselves in will drive every aspect of our lives so as spiritual leaders we must lead people toward a spiritual identity.
2. Convictions. They are between the convictions and assumptions of their family and their own. My key point for this section was: Faith convictions are cultivated in, with and by relational connections.
3. Life Directions. They are in between their childhood where they were, by default, following the direction of their parent(s) and the life direction they will choose as an individual. My key point for this section was: How a person lives today will become how they lived their life.
4. Church Structures. Unfortunately college age people are finding themselves in between church structures. Most church contexts minister to people up through high school and then parents and beyond, leaving college age and singles wandering the land of in-between. My key point for this section was: If people don’t have a sense of belonging in the church they will lose their identity in the world.

Every stage of life is important and focusing on discipling people throughout every stage is not an option for us as leaders. In every stage of life we need to see living examples. Every stage brings new understanding of God and all he has done and provided for us in Christ. Every stage has its unique challenges, obstacles and joys.

Just for a point of reference, I thought I would issue a statement that, I think, articulates one of the biggest reasons we should continue to make college age people a priority:

I would say that: the college age stage of life is a time of mind opening opportunities that lead to the mindset of a lifetime.

Every part of our lives shape us in some fashion. And certainly our entire childhood sets us on a trajectory for life to some degree. But I would suggest that the college age stage is the most significant trajectory setting stage of all. Thoughts?

Today I taught at Grace College chapel. I spoke about how in order to live out the Christian life we must live a life of faith. I used Luke 9:57-62 as my passage. Each person Jesus encounters in this passage feels like there is something they need to do before following him. They basically say, “I’ll follow, but first let me….”

So, here are some random and sporadic thoughts from my notes – that I simply cut and pasted:

• Learning about and regurgitating the scriptures does not make you spiritually mature. Spiritual maturity shows itself when we are living out what they teach.
• We move from living like religious people to living like Christians when we actually follow Jesus, believe he is who he says he is, and we seek to further the gospel in every single facet of our lives.
• Continuing to bring the gospel message to those that don’t know it is NOT the duty of evangelists, it’s the call and joy of every Christian.
• We devote our lives to furthering this message because we believe in Jesus, we love Jesus, and we want others to do the same.
• Living a life of but-firsts strips you of a life of faith.
• I think many of you would go anywhere if you knew for sure God wanted you to go…but you’re not really sure how to decipher that. You want it to be clear. You fear heading in the wrong direction and therefore you don’t head in any. And so, you’re stuck in a place where it doesn’t matter if you would go because you’re not sure what He’s telling you – or how He would make it clear. Basically, you put yourself in a place where you don’t have to actually do anything. It’s great rhetoric if you want to spiritualize not living out the Christian life. BUT, if you do, you have to move past this.

Tomorrow I will be talking about how to decipher God’s voice and be able to tell the difference between living a life of faith and living a life of stupidity. Should be fun.

Helping college age people work through feelings of shame and guilt is not infrequent nor is it a small task. As they are discovering who they are, they inevitably discover they’re not who they desire to be – at least in ways. But we can find ourselves in the same place as well. Shame and guilt over past sin or current struggles can paralyze us….completely. We feel separated from God, the people of God and the things of God.

We have to understand, though, that shame creeps in because we wrongly identify ourselves in sinful actions/tendency/behavior.

At it’s core this misplacement of our identity is because we view ourselves as bodies that have a soul versus a soul that has a body. It may seem like a matter of semantics, but it’s not at all. It’s an entirely different identity. If we view ourselves as a body that continues to sin and do what it ought not – cf. Romans 7:18 – we inevitably end with feelings of shame and guilt. However, if we view ourselves biblically and through Christ as a soul that has been made new, our identity is beyond our fleshly actions. This is important to understand because our identity then is not found in sin, but instead in who God has made us to be spiritually (cf. Ephesians 1:3-14).

Viewing himself as a soul that struggles with fleshly issues is exactly what led to Paul being able to separate his identity from his sinful actions. Paul knows that nothing good dwells in his flesh (Romans 7:18), but it’s clear that he doesn’t identify himself in his flesh:

Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. _Romans 7:20

This separation of identity, my friends, is critical to battling the shame and guilt we often deal with. This might be a good point to bring up with someone you meet with today. Or, it might just be for you. Either way, I’d like to remind you that you are a soul (i.e. new creation – 2 Corinthians 5:14-17) that has a body. It doesn’t give us an excuse to sin (Romans 6:15). In fact, a proper understanding of grace trains us to renounce ungodliness and points us toward godliness (Titus 2:11-14). But it does give us freedom from shame and guilt and condemnation (Romans 8:1!!!!).

It doesn’t take long in college ministry before we come across a student that desires to be in ministry, vocationally. When you do, what do you say to them? Obviously there are circumstances that affect what you would say and depending on the person you’re speaking with you might emphasize one thing over another. But, here are some GREAT insight into some things you might consider making sure you bring out in that conversation:

I love a couple things about this:

1. I love the focus on being faithful in small things first.

2. I love the idea of making sure the calling is affirmed by a community of people, in one location, that they are living life with and have proved themselves in.

I was recently reading a blog post on Ed Stetzer’s blog about what “Millenials” value most. He lists this quote from the Christian Post:

“Millennials are committed to family above other priorities, even though many are waiting to start their own families,” said Thom Rainer, president of LifeWay Christian Resources. “To minister effectively, the church should tap into this priority among Millennials. Churches with a strong understanding and sense of family will be able to more easily reach Millennials. I expect that ministries that cross generations – such as older adults mentoring young adults – could be highly effective in connecting Millennials to Jesus.”

This, my friends, is just one reason why I’ve spent the last 8+ years trying to get church leaders to embrace inter-generational relationships (i.e. mentorship) as the foundation of college ministry – and why I focus so much on helping them understand the benefits it brings to their students and churches. And this is precisely why I have spent the last year developing XP3College conversation guides! This resource is a practical common ground for an older adult and a college age person to walk through together – guiding them through topics pertinent to both older and younger people. It’s a great middle-ground, providing something for adults to go by, and yet keeping in relational and conversational, which younger people appreciate. It also trains and equips mentors, so it’s easier on the calendar for ministry leaders! To get a free sample click here. Enjoy….

So, despite the biggest snow storm in 20 years, we are having our first regional training this Thursday February 10….in Dallas! For info, click here.

This day will have about 4 hours of training/discussion through seminars as well as plenty of time to network with others in college ministry in the Dallas area. The day will be broken up into two seminar slots:

Seminar #1: Dissecting Generational Differences

Seminar #2: Focusing, Measuring and Sustaining Our Ministries

For full seminar descriptions click here.

If you’re in the Dallas area I hope to see you there!